Written on:
Thursday, July 29, 2010
hMMM...
yEaP.
iT’s tHaT tiMe aGaiN...
wHeN sUddeNLy tHaT
sTrOnG + uNaVoiDaBLe wAvE
oF
pAiN + sUffOcATioN
oF
miSSinG jiMMy sO gOddAmN mUcH
aNd
wiSHiNg hE cOuLd bE riGht nExT tO mE
riGht nOw
jUsT hiT mE.
LaSt niGhT,
wHeN i gOt hOmE fRoM sENdiNg yOu gUys hOme.
jiMMy LeFt mE a tExt oN mY mObiLe
teLLinG mE
tO cHecK oUt thiS sOng
“aLL i nEEd”
bY tHiS GirL nAmEd
aLySSa BeRnaL
wHeN i rEaChEd hOme.
aNd tOLd Me tHaT
hE dEdiCaTeD tHiS sOng tO mE.
sO i tOOk mY sHowEr aNd hOppEd oNtO bEd
wiTh mY LaPPiE
oN bLoaTeD beLLy.
aNd sEarchEd tHiS sOnG oN yOutUbE.
aNd wHeN i LisTeNeD tO iT
aS i rEaD tHe LyriCs...
i hAd bUcKeTs oF siLeNt tEaRs
jUsT tRicKLinG dOwN mY cHeeKs
LiKe wAteRwOrkS.
I cOuLdn’T sToP iT.
tHe LYriCs tO tHiS sOnG rEaLLy hiT hOme
wiTh mE.
LYRICS:
G, D, Em, C
I thought of you today when I looked up at the sunset in the sky.
Cause when I was still at home that use to be something we loved to see together.
I felt you near today when I watched our favorite movie all by myself.
And then I smiled today when I saw my favorite picture of us.
G, D, Em, C
I know Im so far away from you
But I know I dont have to search high and low to see you again.
G, D, Em, D, C
No matter where I go, no matter where Ill be youll be here always.
Cause its our memories that tag along with me and thats all I need -
Thats all I need..
Its so easy missing you cause youre going through my head a million times a day.
But Im okay when you say youre doing the exact same thing.
I know Im so far away from you
But I know I dont have to search high and low to see you again.
No matter where I go, no matter where Ill be youll be here always.
Cause its our memories that tag along with me and thats all I need -
Thats all I need..
D, Dsus4
Ooooh
Ooooh..
No matter where I go, no matter where Ill be youll be here always.
Cause its our memories that tag along with me and thats all I need -
Thats all I need
X2
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
bEcOs tHaT’s eXaCtLy hOw iT iS,
eVeRyThiNg LiL tHinG rEmiNds mE
...oF hiM.
...oF uS.
...oF tHe pAsT wE sHaRed tOgEtHer iN peRth.
aNd hE’s aLwAys oN miNd.
I’LL bE tHinKinG aBouT hiM.
wOnDeriNg iF hE hAs eAtEn hiS bReKKie, LuNcH oR diNNeR.
aLL tHe LittLe tHinGs.
iF i sEE “sUpErnAtuRaL” oN tV,
i tHiNK oF tHe tiMeS wE uSeD tO wAtcH
tHe sEriEs tOgEthEr iN mY rOOm
wHeN wE wErE sTiLL jUsT tWo siLLy hOusEmaTeS
fALLinG iN LoVe.
tHoUgH iT mAkEs mE sMiLe,
I cAN’t LoOk tHrU mY oLd piCs
oF uS iN pErtH
wiThOuT sHeddiNg a tEaR
cOs
i wiLL rEaLLy sTaRt tO miSS hiM eVeN mOrE,
miSS tHe tiMes wE hAd aNd miSS oUr fRiEnDs.
tHoSe wErE reaLLy pReCioUs mOmEnTs
tHaT jUsT cAn’T bE rEwiNdeD tO LiVe tHrU iT aLL oVeR agAiN.
bUt iT gEts bEttEr wHeN JiMMy caLLs aNd LeT mE kNoW
hE’s tHinKinG tHe sAmE.
aNd teLLinG mE hOw mUcH hE miSSEd mE
oR tHe tHiNGs wE uSeD tO dO tOgEthEr.
LiKe cOOkiNg tOgEthEr, dRinKinG bEEr tOgEthEr
oR jUsT hAng oUt aT hOmE aNd wATcH sOmE TV tOgEthEr.
aLL tHoSe LiTTLe tHinGs.
sO wHeN hE caLLeD mE LaST niGhT,
i wAs aLL sNiffLiNg
wiTh mY cHeeKs
wEt wiTh tEaRs.
I tOLd hiM hOw mUcH i LoVe tHe sOnG.
aNd
hOw mUcH i miSSeD hiM.
hAhA...
i gUeSSeD hE tOOk piTy oN mE
sO
iNsTead oF oUr uSuaL 30 miNs miDniGhT cHaT,
wE eNdEd uP taLkiNg
fOr
1 hR aNd 30 miNs.
jUsT taLkiNg aBouT mY dAy.
hiS dAy.
aNd jUsT hOw mUcH wE miSSeD eAch oThEr.
wHicH wAs niCe.
iT mAdE mE feeL a LiL bEttEr.
bUt aLsO mAdE mE LoVed hiM eVeN mOrE
fOr bEing sO sWeeT.
hAhA...
tO tHiNk
i jUsT tOLd bRyaNt LaST niTe
tHaT
LDR iS nOt sO bAd
aNd
tHaT i’Ve gOttEn uSeD tO iT.
sHeeSH kEbAb.
I gUeSS nOt,
aFteR aLL.
Labels: bAbY, Bi, eMoTiOnAL sOnG, fRuStrAtiOns, HaPPiNeSS, hEaRtaChEs, LDRs, LoVe, PaiN, yOuTuBe
Written on:
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
yEsTeRdAy...
eVerYthiNg wAs gOinG pReTTy weLL, iF nOt nOrmaL, tHe wHoLe dAy... uNtiL LatEr tHaT eVEniNg wHeN i wAs rEaDiNg a bLoG...
aNd mY hEarT jUsT dRoPPeD.
aUsTraLiA hAs cAnCeLLeD oVeR 20,000 viSa aPPLiCaTiOns.
bEcAusE tHe gOvErNmEnT hAs dEciDeD tO cHanGe iTs iMMigRatioN pOLiCy.
tHeY aRe gOiNg tO cHaNge tHe LisT oF sKiLLeD oCCuPaTiOns.
tHoSe wHo aRe sTuDyiNg thE cOuRsEs
whiCh aRe nO LonGeR iN dEmAnd
wiLL bE giVeN a tEMPoRaRy 18-moNtHs viSa
to fiNd a sPoNsOr fOr tHeiR eDuCaTiOn.
aNd iF tHeY fAiL tO dO sO,
tHeY wiLL bE sEnd hOmE tO tHeiR hOmE cOunTriEs rEsPecTiVeLy.
aLL viSa aPPLicATiOnS aPPLiEd oFFsHoRe
tHrOuGh the gEnEraL sKiLLeD miGratiOn sChEmE
LoDgEd bEfOrE SePteMbEr 2007 wiLL bE cAncELLeD,
cOsTiNg thE tAxpAyErS $14 miLLiOn to rEfuNd 20,000 viSa aPPLiCatiOns.
aPPaRenTLy, sTuDeNtS fRoM iNdiA wiLL bE mOsT aFFecTeD bY tHis cHanGe,
aS MosT oF theM wErE rELyiNg oN “bAcK dOoR” pErMaNeNt rEsiDeNcY
tHrOuGh tHe sKiLLed miGraTiOn sChEmE.
nOw mY qUeStiOn iS...
sO wHeRe dOeS tHaT LeAvE JiMMy...??
Labels: fRuStrAtiOns, hEaRtaChEs, UnLuCkY
Written on:
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
wOrSt wEEk oF 2009 yEt...
0 Messages
aM i tHe mOsT uNLucKieSt GiRL oN eArTh...?? oR JuSt pLaiN cLuMsY & cArELeSS...???!!! i wOuLd LiKe tO tHiNk bOtH... bUt sOmEthiNg tELLs mE... iT's tHe LaTTeR... *siGH*... wHaT aM i gOnnA dO aBouT mYseLf???... *aRgHHHHH*... sTuPiD, sTuPiD, sTuPiD... wHaT's wRoNg wiTh mE?!!!
oKaY, yOu'rE pRoBaBLy wOnDeRinG wHaT oN eArTh aM i rAnTiNg oN aBouT...
WeLL, iT's LiKe tHiS...
...*tAkE a DeeP bReaTh*...
LeT mE GiVe y'aLL a bRiEf pReVieW oF wHaT hAppEneD LaST WeeK... aNd yOu'LL sOOn uNdErsTaNd wHeRe i aM cOmiNg fRoM... HeLL, mY LiFe iS jUsT oNe BiG diSaStEr...!!! oNe gReaT miSfOrtUnE aFtEr aNotHeR...
LeT's sEE... FiRsT oF aLL, i diScOvErEd tHaT i LosT mY I.C. aNd mY dRiViNg LiCeNsE... aT tHe sAmE FREAKING tiMe!!! tHeN i tRiEd SeArcHinG HiGh aNd LoW fOr tHeM...
tHeN cAmE tHe wOrSe PaRt oF aLL...
... JeNg, JeNg, JeNg...
i... rEaLiZeD... haLfwAy tHrOuGh rUmMaGiNg tHroUgh mY rOOm... tHaT i... aLsO... sOmEHoW... cOuLdn'T fiNd mY PASSPORT tOo!!! WTF... RigHt???
aNd aS iF tHinGs cOuLdn't PoSSibLy gEt aNy wOrSe, oNcE aGaiN, haLfwAy tHrOuGh tUrniNg mY rOOm uPsiDe dOwN...
... jEnG, jEnG, jEnG...
i... ReALiZeD... i cOuLdn't FiNd... mY mOm'S mObiLe pHoNe...!!!
yOu sEE, i aLwaYs cArrY wiTh mE, mY OwN sOnY eRiCssOn MoBiLe pHonE aNd mY mOm's nOkiA mObiLe phOnE...
bUt bEcAusE mY oWn mObiLe pHoNe hAd diEd DuRinG mY LaSt tRiP tO kL AnD wAs BeiNg rEPaiReD, i hEaViLy rELiEd oN tHaT pHoNe... bEcAuSe iT wAs mAinLy mY oNLy iNsTaNt sOuRcE oF cOmmuNiCaTiOn wiTh JiMMy...
aNd guEss wHeRe i fOuNd iT iN tHe end...???
...iN tHe wAShiNg mAcHinE!!!
oH mY gOd, RiGhT?????
sEriOuSLy, maN... wHaT's wRonG wiTh mE??!!!
i mUsT hAVe hAstiLy wrAppEd tHe pHoNe wiTh mY bEdSHeeTs wHeN i wAs dOinG mY LauNdRy
... aNd tHreW iT inTo tHe wAShiNg mAcHiNe...!!!!!
rEmEmbEr wHeN i mEntiOned, "aS iF tHinGs cOuLdn'T pOssiBLy gEt aNy woRsE"...
wELL, iT diD...
tHe sOnY eRiCssOn mObiLe pHoNe tHaT wAs bEinG rEpAiReD... hAd tO bE rEpRoGrAmmEd aGain.
... wHicH mEaNs i LoSt aLL mY cOnTacT nUmbErS, aLoNg wiTh mY pHoToS, ViDeOs aNd SmSeS!!!
aNd wHy dOeS iT boThErs mE sO fReaKinG mUcH tHat i LoSt aLL mY PiCs, ViDeOs aNd sMseS, yOu mAy wOnDeR...
iT's bECaUsE... aLL mY sWeeT mEmOriEs tHaT i HaD oF Me + JiMMy...
... aRe aLL Ka-PooSH!!!
iT hAD aLL tHe sWeeT sMsEs tHaT jiMMy hAd sEnD tO mE eVeR siNcE wE gOt tOgEthEr aNd i aLwAys rEaD tHeM whEneVeR i cOuLdn'T sLeeP aT niGhT...
aNd iT aLsO hAd tHe piCs oF oUr fiRsT mOmenTs... sUcH aS tHe fiRsT cHoCoLaTe mOuSSe BiRtHdAy cUpcAkE JiMMy mAdE fOr mE fOr mY biRtHdAy aNd thErE wErE aLsO tHe piCs oF tHe bReKKie hE sUrPriSeD mE witH oNe mOrniNg... tHaT hAd mY NamE "ViCkY" mAdE oF PaN-FriEd bREaD oN iT... hE mAdE aLL tHaT wHeN wE weRe jUsT hOusEmaTeS...
nOw aLL tHaT...
...gOnE!!!!!
hOwEvEr... gOOd nEwS iS... i DiD fiNd mY i.C. eVeNtuALLy... sTucK iN bEtWeeN tHe PaGeS oF a bOOk i wAs rEaDinG dUriNg mY LaSt fLiGhT bAcK fRoM k.L.
...BuT...
mY DriViNg LicEnSe aNd pAssPoRt aRe sTiLL nO wHeRe tO bE SeeN...
HELP!!! ThEy aRe sTiLL oUt tHeRe!!! sOmEwHeRe!!! oN tHE LooSE!!!
yEa... i aM LoSiNg mY miNd aLrEaDy... aT FirSt, i wAs pReTTy fReaKeD oUt bY tHe wHoLe siTuAtioN...
BuT i tOLd mYsELf...
...tO tHiNk PoSiTiVe!!!
sO i hAvE rEaSSurEd mYsELf tHaT tHeY cAN'T bE fAr... tHey HaVe tO Be sOmEwHeRe iN tHe hOusE...
... tHey'Re nOt "LosT"...
tHey'Re... eRmmm... jUsT nOt vErY sTraTeGiCaLLy "pLaCeD"...
sO i aM sUrE tHey wiLL pOp uP eVeNtUaLLy... wHeN tHe tiMe cOmEs...
...*FinGeRs cRoSSeD*...
aNd aS iF tHinGs wErEn't bad eNouGh... i HaD hiVeS!!! HiVeS...!!! cAn yOu bELiEvE tHaT??!!!
aNd Let mE tELL yOu oNe tHiNg aBouT HiVeS!!!
iF iT dOeSn'T kiLL yOU... iT wiLL, vErY sOOn...
iT iTcHeS!!! aNd diD i mEntiOn... LiKe heLL!!!
eVeN aFtEr tAkiNg aNtiHisTaMinEs... iT sTiLL bLoOdY iTcHeS!!!!!
iT dRoVe mE mAd...!!! LiKe hELL!!!
aNd oNcE, i sTaRt sCraTcHinG... i ReaLLy do eNd uP LooKinG LiKe a fLeA-iNfEstEd cHiMp... sCrAtCh, sCraTcH, sCraTcH!!!
a vErY nOt hAppY LiL' mOnKeY aT aLL...
...*fRoWN*...
bUt HeY, oN a MuCh HaPPiEr nOtE...
i aM gONNa Be sEEinG mY BaBY VeRy sOOn...!!!
15tH aPriL!!!!!
JiMMy's gOnnA bE iN KL fOr aBoUt a wEEk fOr hiS eAstEr bReAk... aNd hE sUggEsTeD fOr mE tO cOmE oVeR tO viSiT hiM fOr a fEw dAys... aNd i rEaLLy cOuLdn'T rEfuSe hiS oFFeR... sO i tOOk uP hiS gRaCiOuS oFFeR!!!
cOmE tO tHiNk oF iT... aCtUaLLy tHAT's hOw i ReALiZeD i LoSt mY I.C. aNd mY dRiVinG LicEnSe... cOs i wAs bUyiNg tHe aiR tiCkeTs oNLinE aNd i nEEdEd mY pErsOnaL dEtAiLs fOr iT... aNd i cOULdn'T rEmEmbEr mY I.C. nUmbEr, sO i tOOk oUt mY wALLeT fRoM mY bAg... oNLy tO rEaLiZeD iT's nOt wHerE iT's sUppOsEd tO be iN mY wALLeT... HeHeHe... i wAs mOrE fReaKeD aBouT LoSinG mY I.C. bEcAuSe...
iF i diDn'T hAvE iT wiTh mE... i pRoBaBLy wOuLdn'T bE aBLe tO tRaVeL tO KL... EeeeeK!!!...
bUt *pHeW*... iT's nOw sAfeLy kEpT iN mY wALLeT... wHeRe iT sHouLd bE... hEhEhE...
wELL, JiMMy iS rEaLLy sO sWeeT BeCaUsE hE's PaYinG fOr mY aiR TiX... aNd i wiLL bE sTaYinG wiTh HiM aNd hiS FaMiLy... "aS hiS eX-hOuSeMaTe", oF cOUrSE... HeHeHe...
...jUsT 3 dAyS aNd 2 NigHTs oNLy...
...*siGh*...
wiSh iT cOULd bE fOr LonGEr...
bUt tHaT's gOOd eNouGh fOr mE...
i JuSt cAN'T wAiT tO See mY bAbY!!!
cAn'T wAiT tO GiVe hiM a biG, BiG, biG hUg!!! ...tO hOLd hiS hANds!!! ...tO JuSt bE nExT tO hiM!!!
GoD, hOw i miSS hiM sO...
aT LeAsT, i HaVe tHiS tO kEEp mY sPiRiTs uP... aLL wEEk!!!
hEhEhE... wHicH rEmiNdS mE... sOmeThiNg OuT oF tHe oRdiNaRy hAppEnEd tO mE tHe oThEr dAy... wHicH kiNdA bRigHtEn uP mY "sUpPoSeDLy" wOrSt wEEk eVeR oF 2009...
... hEhEhE... LeT mOi sPiLL Moi oWn BeaNs... *GiGGLeS*...
y'knOw wHaT tHeY aLL sAY... sHaRinG iS CaRiNg... *NyaK, NYaK, NyaK*...
aNd i aM dEfiNitELy cARiNg fOr y'aLL riGhT nOw... HeHeHe...
wELL...
LaSt fRiDaY niGhT...
mE aNd mY siS, LiViA wEnT fOr sUppEr aT a kOpiTiaM... aNd aS wE wErE bUsY eAtiNg oUr BbQ cHicKeN wiNgs...
wE sAw tHiS qUiTe gOOd-LooKinG gUy wALkiNg pAst uS aNd hE sUddEnLy tUrNeD bAcK aNd LooK aT oUr diReCtiOn...
tHEn i tOLd mY siS.... wOw, i LiKe tHe wAy tHiS gUy dReSSeS... bUt tHe wAy hE wALks iS a BiT gAy La...
tHeN wE wEnt bAcK tO sTuffiNg oUr fAcEs wiTH oUr wiNgs...
nExT tHinG i kNoW, hE sO hApPeNeD tO siT oNe tAbLe aWaY fRoM uS, wiTh tWo oThEr fRiEnDs... SiTTinG diAgOnaLLy beHinD mY SiS(hAh, dOeS tHaT mAkE sEnSe?? :P)... hiS bAcK fACiNg mE.
wHeNeVeR i tALked tO mY SiS... i, oF cOuRsE, hAvE tO bE LooKiNg aT hEr... aNd i cOuLd fEeL sOmEoNe LoOkiNg aT mE, sO i gLaNceD uP, bEhiNd mY siS aNd cAugHt HiM LooKinG aT mY diReCtiOn...
nOt oNcE...
nOt tWiCe...
bUt hE kEpT tUrNinG bAcK LoOkiNg aT mY diRecTioN...
iT gOt tO tHe pOinT wHerE iT jUsT fELt a LiL biT wEiRd...
aNd uNcOmFoRtABLe....
tHeN i wAs LiKe, eEeyeRR... LiVia, i doN't kNoW iF i aM bEiNg toO pArAnOid oR nOt...
bUt tHAt gUy wHo dReSSes weLL keEpS LoOkiNg bAcK aT mY DiRecTioN...
tHeN mY SiS wAs LiKe HaiYa... iT's nOtHinG La, hE'S pRoBabLy LoOkiNg aT sOmEthiNg eLsE... LiKe tHe hAwKeR sTaLLs bEhiNd yOu...
i wAs LiKe erRr okAy....
tHeN sUddEnLy, hALfwAy tHroUgh oUr sEcoNd rOunD oF DriNkS...
a GuY hOLdiNG a sMaLL piEcE oF pApeR iN bOtH hiS hANds, tO hiS cHeSt... cAmE uP tO oUr taBLe.
tHe fiRsT tHouGht tHaT cAmE tO boTh miNe aNd mY siS's MinD wAs... eH... wE diDn'T oRdEr aNytHinG eLsE LeH... sUreLy MusT bE tHe wRoNg taBLe wAN...
tHinKinG tHaT tHe gUy mUsT bE a WaiTeR fRoM oNe oF tHe hAwKeR sTaLLs...
BuT tO oUr sUrpRiSe, tHe gUy hAnDed mE tHe piEcE oF pApEr aNd sAiD ...
...mY FriEnD wANtS yOu tO hAvE hiS nUmbEr... iN mAnDaRiN.
tHeN i rEaLiZeD tHaT hE wAs aCtuaLLy tHe gOOd-LooKinG gUY's FriEnD...
aNd i wAs LiKe erRr... okAy... tHaNk yOu...
tHe pApEr hAd hiS nUmBeR aNd hiS nAmE... "Mr. HOwE"...
aS sOOn aS tHe fRiEnD rEtuRneD bACk tO tHe taBLe, i pLaCed tHe pApEr uNdEr mY mELtiNg iCe-FiLLeD cUp, sOaKinG uP aLL tHe wAtEr fOrMeD bY tHe cOndEnsAtiOn oF tHe cOLd gLaSS cUp...
iMMeDiaTeLy i pLeAdEd wiTh mY SiS, LooKinG aT hEr wiTh mY pUppY's eYeS... "qUiCk, QuiCk!! LeT's gO nOw... QuiCK!!!"
... BeCaUsE i wAs sO pAisEh...
tHinKinG tHaT iT miGhT bE sOme kiNd oF sChEmE... mY siS's rEaCtiOn wAs LiKe... "oKaY, oKaY... dOn't LooK oVeR aT tHeM. JuSt bE cOOL. dOn'T mAkE iT sO oBviOuS. bUt hOw mAnY gUys aRe tHErE? wHeRe aRe tHeY nOw...?"
sO i tOLd hEr...
tHeN... EEEKS!!!...
tHe gUy hiMseLf cAmE oVeR tO oUr tAbLe...
aNd hE wAs uNcErTaiN iF hE sHouLd sPeAk eNgLisH oR mAndAriN... sO i tOLd HiM... i sPeAk eNgLisH....
tHeN oUr cOnVeRsAtiOn wEnT sOmE sOrT LikE tHiS...
HiM: oH... sOrrY aBoUt mY fRiEnD jUsT nOw.
Me: oH, iT's okAy.
HiM: erRr... yOu hAvE mY nUmBeR wiTh yOu, riGhT? DiD yOu kEEp iT?
iMmEdiAtELy, sNeaKinG a gLaNcE aT tHe wEt pieCe oF sOggY pApEr wHicH wAs nOw hiDinG uNdEr mY cuP... pRaYinG tHaT hE diD nOt sEE tHaT... i GaVe hiM a NeRvoUs sMiLe aNd i LiEd...
Me: erRr yEa...
HiM: ArE yOu LoCaL?
Me: yEa...
HiM: ArE yOu cHiNeSe?
Me: yEa...
HiM: aRe yOu sTiLL sTuDyiNg?
aGaiN, i LiEd oNcE mOrE...
Me: yEa...
HiM: cAn i hAvE yOUr nUmBeR?
Me: errRrr...
HiM: oH... dO yOu hAvE a bOyfRieNd...?
Me: hAhAhA.... yEa.
HiS rEsPonSe was.... "ohhhh".... pLaCiNg hiS pALm tO hiS fOrEhEaD... LooKiNg diSaPPoiNteD wiTh tHe aNsWeR.
...hAhAhA...
bUt hE sTiLL cArriEd oN...
HiM: iT's okAy... wE sTiLL cAn bE fRieNdS... wE cAN jUsT mEssAgE eAcH oThEr. yOu cAn mEssAgE mE yOUr eMaiL aDDrEss...
Me: erRr... oKaY...
bUt oF cOuRsE, tHaT wAs aLL a LiE!!!
i jUsT diDn'T hAvE tHe hEaRt tO bE rEjEcT hiM oR hUrT hiS eGo... sO i jUsT "eNtErTaiNeD" hiM La... HeHeHe...
aNd, oF cOuRsE...
i DiD nOt kEEp hiS nUmBeR La...
i LeFt iT bAcK aT thE kOpiTiaM... wHeRe iT sHouLd bE... hEhEhE...
aNd i tOLd JiMMy aBOuT iT... oF cOuRsE, hE diDn'T sEEm tO bE tOO iMpReSSeD bY mY sToRy...
aNd stiLL "pAn" cOOL puLaK...
cHeHHHHH...
... HeHeHe...
weLL, aT LeAsT, hE kNoWs hOw fAiThfUL i aM aNd wHaT a gOOd LiL giRL i aM... mUahAhAhA...
bUt QuiTe a EgO bOOsTeR La... eSpEciaLLy wHeN tHe gUy wAsn'T sOme KiNd oF hOkkiEn-sPeaKinG, pErOxiDe bLoNd aH BeNg... bUt SoMeoNe wHo'S gOOd-LoOkiNg...!!! ...aNd sOmEoNe wHO cOuLd dReSS vErY weLL aNd cOOL... aNd spOkE a pReTTy dEcEnT eNgLiSh tOO...
mAdE mE fEEL LiKe... wOw, i aM pReTTy aLriGhT, aFtEr aLL... HeHeHe... nOt tOO sHaBBy, aFtEr aLL...
siLLy, i kNoW... bUt iT's KinDa niCe tO hAvE tHiS kiNd oF rAnDoM cOnFiRmAtiOn/aPPrOvaL...
...*bLusH*...
Labels: bAbY, Bi, fRuStrAtiOns, HaPPiNeSS, jOy, LoVe, RaNtiNg, UnLuCkY
Written on:
Friday, April 03, 2009
sO mUcH oN mY miNd... *siGH*
0 Messages
eVerYthiNg bEtWeeN mE aNd jiMMy wAs gOinG vErY sMooTHLy... bUt tHaT wAs uNtiL LaSt tWo wEEks aGo, wHeN wE bOtH dEciDeD tO bOrroWeD sOmE dVds tO wAtCh tOGeThEr.
bEcaUsE KJ aNd i aRe sO fAr aPaRt fRoM eAcH oThEr, i fELt a SeNsE oF rEsPonSiBiLiTy tO pRoVe mY LoyaLtY tO KJ bY pUttiNg hiM fiRsT, nO mAttEr whAt. eVeN iF iT mEaNt i hAd tO miSs sOmE pArT oF tHe mOviE, jUsT sO wE caN wEBcaM aNd cHaT fOr aWHiLE...
oN mOndAY niGhT, bECaUSe tHeRe wErE sOme mOrE dVds tHaT wE hAveN'T wAtcHEd yEt, i asKeD jiMMy iF hE wAs fRee tOmOrrOw nigHt aNd he SaiD yEa. aNd i sAiD okAy... wAnnA wAtCh DvDs tOMoRRoW?? hE sAiD oKaY... aNd wHaT hAppEned wAs tHe nExT daY hE wAs oUt thE whOLe daY aNd wHeN hE fiNaLLy caMe bAcK... aT aRouNd 9 sOmEtHinG... hE wAs pLaYinG cArdS wiTh tHis GiRL wHo i tHiNk was mY biTcHy cHiNa hOusEmAtE SaNNi's fRiEnD aNd wiTh sAnNi... aNd bY tHe tiMe hE sEnd tHe GiRL hOmE aNd cAmE bAcK iT wAs aLrEaDy 12 am sOmEtHinG...
aNd yet hE stiLL weNt oUt... aNd fOr wHaT??? tO wAtCh mOviEs aT hiS fRiEnd's pLaCe!!! aNd tHeRE i WaS wAitiNg tHe wHoLe daY fOr hiM tO wAtcH mOviEs wiTh hiM... bECaUsE tHaT tO mE wAs LiKe a PrOmiSe... aN aGreeMeNt tHat hE wOuLd wAtCh tHe dVds tOgEthEr... i mEaN "eLLooooo... i wOuLdn'T bE aSkiNg... aRe yOu fRee tOmoRRow aNd dO yOu wAnnA wAtcH DvDs tOgetHeR fOr nO rEaSoN.... aNd yOu sAy yeA oKaY... bUt hE cOuLd stiLL tELL iT tO mY fACe tHaT... tHaT wAsN'T a pRoMisE... i nevEr pRomiSed yOu tHaT i wiLL wAtcH DvDs wiTh yOu yeStErdAy... aNd yEt, hE hAs tHe aUdaciTy tO stiLL sAy " i jUsT sAy yEa, i aM fRee tO wATcH dVds wiTh yOu. tHaT wAsn'T a pRomiSe."
tHeN oN wEdnesdAy niGht, bEcAUSe KJ aNd i hAd a LiL tiFF wiTh eaCh oThEr aGaiN... i hAd tO wALk aWaY fRoM tHe mOviE aGaiN tO dEaL tHinGs wiTh hiM aNd maKe peAcE wiTh eAcH oThEr... wHiLe wEbcAmmiNg haLFwAy, JimmY sUddEnLy tExTed me tHaT hE tHinKs hE wAnna gO sLeep cOs hE aLmosT faLLinG aSLeeP... sO i tExTed bAcK tO hiM, "oH oKaY, TheN yOu gO sLeep FiRsT..." aNd bEcaUsE i hAd a rEaLLy bAd hEaDaChE tHaT niGhT, i aLsO dEciDed tO tUrN iN aS wELL... nOt kNowiNg tiLL LaTeR tHaT hE wEnT oUt tO yUm cHaR wiTh hiS FriEnds... aNd wOw... i wAs piSSeD tHat hE toLd mE thAt hE wAnTeD tO sLeep bUt yEt hE cOuLd gO oUt fOr yUm cHaR...
aNd tHe nexT niGht, sTiLL bEinG piSseD wiTh hiM... i jUsT tOLd hiM tO rEtUrN tHe DvDs beCaUsE iT wAs dUe tHe nExT daY... aNd hE wAs, "wHaT?? yOu dOn'T wAnt tO wAtcH???" aNd i wAs LiKe "yEa, LiKe i wAtcH tHe MoviEs aLOne??"... i meAn HeLLo, i bOrrOwEd tHe DvDs aNd pAiD fOr tHeM bEcAuSe yOU sAiD yOu wAntEd tO wAtcH dVds wiTh mE... tHen hE sAid, "oH dOn'T bLaMe me, dOn'T sAy i diDn't wAnt tO wAtCh wiTh yOu... wAiTed fOr yOu tO wEbcAm uNtiL i WaNtEd tO faLL aSLeeP", iN a vErY cOndEsCeNdiNg mAnnEr... aNd tHaT rEaLLy gOt mE aNd hiT tHe cOrE... aNd i jUsT rEtOrTeD bAck, "yEa, sOmeOnE sAy wAnt tO sLeeP sO i LeT yOu sLeep... bUt yEt, stiLL caN gO fOr yUm ChaR!!" tHen i jUsT tUrnEd on mY hEELs aNd wAlKeD aWaY iNtO mY rOOm...
eVeRsiNcE tHeN, wE hAveN'T sPokeN tO eaCh othEr...
aNd tHen tWo niGhTs aGo, mY hEaRt wAs oNcE aGaiN bEEn sLaSheD bY a LonG, bLunT aNd rUsTy kNifE... aS i hEaRd hiM bRinGiNg a GiRL hOme... bRinGinG hEr iNtO hiS rOOm... aNd HaViNg hEr sTaY oVeR... aNd i cOuLdn't gEt tO sLeeP ThAt niGhT aS i cOuLd hEaR tHe bOtH oF tHeM tALkiNg aNd LAuGhiNg... mY hEaRt hUrT sO bAdLy... i kEpT fEeLinG iNtEnSe piErCinG sPaSms oF pAiN... sOmE oF whicH wErE LaTeR iDentiFiEd bY mY bRaiN aS sHaRp pAnG oF jEaLoUsY...
aS iF tHinGs cOuLdn'T gEt aNy wOrSe tHan iT aLreAdy WaS fOr mE... i TeXtEd tHe meSSaGe tHat wErE mEaNt fOr mY fRieNds' eYes oNLy "hOnEy, mY heArt hUrtS... jiMMy bROughT a GiRL hOmE aNd i cAn hEaR tHeM LauGhinG aNd tALkiNg iN tHe nExT rOOm. i kNow i sHouLdn'T bE bOthErEd bUt i aM"... tO HIM!!!! ACCIDENTALLY!!! hOw huMiLiaTiNg iT wAs... oNLy tHinGs LiKe tHiS hAPpEns tO mE!!
tHe hUrT aNd pAiN tHaT i fELt sOOn bEcaMe aNgEr aNd DisAppOiNtMeNt... i JusT feLt tHaT eVeRyThiNG hE sAiD tO mE... hOw hE cAn nEvEr mOvE oN sO qUiCkLy... hOw hE tOLd me hE LoVed mE sO mUcH... hOw hE cOuLdn'T aFForD tO LoSe mE... tHaT hE wOuLdn'T LooK fOr sOmEoNe eLsE... hOw hE woUld aLwAys wAiT fOr mE uNtiL tHe oNe mOntH pErioD wiTh KJ wAs oVeR... aLL oF wHicH wErE LIES!!! LIES, LIES aNd MorE LIES!!!
aNd i fELL fOr EvErY siNGLe oNe oF hiS LiEs. i tHouGhT hE wAs diFFeRenT. i tHouGht hE wAs the rEaL dEaL. thaT hE waS tHe gENuiNe tHinG... bUt bOy, wAs i sO wRoNg...
tHe fAcT tHaT hE cOuLd cRiTiCiSe KJ fOr hiS pAsT aCtiOns aNd tELLinG mE hE's DiFfEreNt aNd nOtHiNg LiKe Kj... bUt yEt, iN tHe eNd... hE's ThE sAMe LiKe eVeRy oTher gUy iN tHe WoRLd!!! aT LeaSt, pLeaSe hAvE tHe gUts To aDmiT iT LiKe KJ, iNsTeaD oF jUdGiNg pEoPLe...
i mEaN i kNow oNe oF tHeSe daYs hE wOuLd eVenTuaLLy fiNd sOmeOne eLse... i aM cOOL wiTh tHaT... bUt so fAsT?? iT oNLy meaNt oNe tHinG... wHiCh wAs hE wAs aLreAdY eYeiNg oN sOmeoNe eLse wHiLe he sAid aLL thOsE tHinGs tO mE... hE wAs pRobAbLY aLreAdY pAmPeriNg aNd sPoiLinG hEr tHe wAy hE diD wiTh me... kNowiNg hOw he LiKe dEcEnT, gOOdiE-TwO-ShOeS giRLs... hE hAd tO hAvE dOne aLL tHaT... sO hE cOuLd gEt her iNtO hiS bEd...
sOmeHoW hE rEmiNdeD mE oF tHaT LyriCs oF tHe SonG bY VeRticaL hoRiZoN's eVeRyThiNg yOu wAnt:
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
wHo wOuLd hAve tHoUght tHe sWeeT aNd cAriNg gUy tHat aLmoSt maDe mE giVe uP KJ wAs aCtuALLy a LyiNg, JudGeMenTaL aNd HyPoCriTicaL jerK wHo hAd his wAy wiTh maNipULaTinG mY hEaRt??? i jUsT FeeL LiKe a fOOL... LiKe aN iDiOt...
hOwEvEr, i mUsT sAy... Kj wAs vErY UnDeRsTaNdiNg aNd sUppOrTiVe tO mE tHrOuGh aLL tHiS... hE wAs tHeRe wHeRe i neeDed hiM... eVeN wHeN hE kNeW i wAs bOthErEd bY jiMMy aNd hiS gAL paL... hE wOkE uP eArLy iN tHe mOrniNg wHeN i caLLeD hiM... aNd oFFerEd tO wEbcAm wiTh mE aNd AsKed mE hOw i wAs feELinG... aNd oF cOuRsE, hE diDn'T faiL tO dELiVEr hiS LiL "i tOLd yOu sO" nUmbEr... bUt hE tRiEd hiS bEst tO cHeeR mE uP... wHiCh hE DiD...
hE tOLd mE tO tHinK oF iT tHis wAy... tHaT aT LeaSt i aM nOw wiTh tHe bEttEr gUy oF tHe tWo... tHe mUcH bEttEr-LooKinG oNe... tHe mOrE sUaVe anD CHaRmiNg oNE... HaHaHa... i kNoW, i kNow... KJ cAn bE sO fULL oF hiMsELf aNd cOcKy aBouT hiS qUaLities... bUt hEy, iT wOrkeD!! hE mAdE mE fEEL bEttEr aNd bRoUgHt a SmiLe tO mY FaCe aNd mY hEaRt...
i kNow hOw i Am fEELinG fOr tHe cUrrEnT siTuAtiOn wiTh jiMMy iSn'T FaiR fOr KJ... bUt i cAn'T hELp iT... bUt i wiLL tRy mY bEsT tO mOvE oN tO buiLd a StRonGeR aNd hAPPiEr rELaTioNshiP wiTh hiM...
tHaNks tO tHe cOmPany oF rEGine aNd aLeX... mY dAy bEcaMe bRiGhTeR and i wAs hAppiEr aS weLL aS ThEy LisTeNeD tO mE vEnTinG oUt mY fRuStRaTioNs... aNd GaVe mE tHeiR aDViCeS aNd tHeiR PoiNt oF viEwS... wHicH ReaLLY hELpeD.
aNd tOdAy, i wAnTeD tO mOvE oUt fRoM mY cUrrEnT pLaCe. i jUsT fELt i nEEdEd a neW sTaRt aNd nEw bEGiNNinG wiTh KJ... tO cREaTe a neW cHaPtEr iN oUR LiVeS tOgEthEr... aNd tO gEt aWaY fROm jiMMy aNd aLL tHe memOriEs... tO cLoSe aNd eNd tHaT cHaPtEr wiTh hiM... bUt i rEaLiSeD iN tHe eNd oF tHe daY, i Don'T hAvE tO rUn AwAy fRoM aNyThiNg aS i aM HaPPy wiTh wHeRe i aM... aNd bY cOnFrOntiNg tHe uGLinEss oF tHe rEaLiTy oF mY oNCe-sO-caLLeD hAppY mEmoRiEs wiTh jiMMy, iT wiLL oNLy maKe mE a stRoNgEr aNd a HaPPiEr pErSoN...
Labels: fRuStrAtiOns, HeaRt bReaKs, jErKs, LoVe
Written on:
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
