PeAcE tO tHe iCeD cHoCoLaTe!!
ReGiNe, Me, CiNdY aNd hUi YiN.
rEgiNe tAkiNg a biTe oFF mY fiNgErs... i gUeSS mY tRaDe-mArKeD peaCe siGn wAs dRiVinG hEr nUtS!!!
aNywAy, LasT bUt nOt LeasT...
aNd mOsT imPoRtAnTLy oF aLL...
HeRe's aN uPdAtE tO mY uSuaLLy eVeR-cOmpLiCated LiFe...
sOmE oF yOu mAy kNoW aBouT mY siTuaTiOn...
fOr tHoSe oF yOu wHo aRe cLuELeSS aNd hAve aBsOLuTeLy nO iDeA aBouT wHaT i'M rAVinG oN aBoUt...
i aM taLkiNg aBouT mY rECeNt dRaMa iN mY LifE.
(oH... wAiT, WaiT, wAiT!!! mAkE u gEt yOuRsELf a cUppA bEfoRe cOnTiNuiNg rEadiNg... aS ThiS iS gOnnA bE a LooOOooOOooNg OnE... gOttA mAkE uP fOr tHe pAst tWo mOnThS i hAvEn'T bLoGGeD... hEhE, PaiSeH!!) aNyWaYs...
tWo mOnThs AgO... eVeRytHinG iN mY LiFe sEEm tO bE fALLinG iNtO pLaCe.
eSpEciaLLy mY sOciAL LiFe.
My rELaTiOnShiP wiTh bOb* bLosSoMeD iNtO a dEEpEr aNd mEaNinGfuL fRiEnDsHiP...
wHiLe mY fRiEnDsHiP wiTh mY nExt-dOOr hOusEmAtE jiMMy dEEpEneD iNtO sOmEtHinG mOrE aS tiMe wEnT oN.
wHeNeVeR pOssiBLe, bOb wOuLd caLL mE ouT tO aCCoMpaNy hiM fOr suPPeR aT NoRtHbRiDgE... uNtiL iT bEcAmE a TrAdiTiOn fOr uS tO hAvE oUr fAvoUriTe diSh, "sEaWeeD cHiCkEn"... aT LeASt oNcE a wEEk.
aNd dUriNg oUr sO-caLLeD "sEaWeeD cHicKeN" sEssiOnS, We wOuLd LaUgH aNd tALk aBouT aNytHinG.
aS tHiS wEnT oN, mY hOuSemAtE wAs eVeRyDaY sPoiLiNg mE wiTh MeALs tHaT hE siNgLe-HaNdEdLy CooKeD fOr mE aNd paMpeRinG mE wiTh niCe iNiTiAtiVe gEsTuReS LiKe wAshiNg tHe bAtHtUb fOr mE wHen i cAsuaLLy mEntiOneD thAt i wAntEd tO tAke a NiCe sOaK iN tHe bAthtUb thE niGhT bEfOrE.
aNd wHeNeVeR pOssiBLe, wE wOuLd wAtCh "sUpErNaTurAL" seRiEs tOgEtHeR iN mY rOOm.
hOwEvEr, tHinGs jUsT tOOk a dRaMaTiC sTeP wHeN wE aLL hAd oUr oNe wEEk hOLidAy.
aS BoB's giRLfRiEnD wAs cOmiNg dOwN fRoM siNgApOrE tO viSiT hiM, i cHoSe tO sTaY ouT oF bOb's wAy tHaT wEEk.
aLtHouGh, i hAd cLeaRLy MoVed oN aNd wE bOtH hAvE cOmE tO tErMs bEiNg fRiEnDs wiTh eAch oThEr... i sTiLL didN'T wAnt tO sEE hEr.
sHe rEpReSeNteD mAny tHinGs tO Me.
sADnEss. tEaRs. hEaRtbReaKs. PaiN. aGoNy.
eVeRyThiNg i HaD tO gO tHrOuGh wHeN i fOuNd oUt tHaT bOb hAd aNoThEr GiRLfriEnD bAcK hOmE iN siNgApoRe.
eVeN tiLL nOw, i CaN sTiLL hEaR bOb tELLinG mE whY i wAsn'T thE iDeaL wOmaN fOr HiM.
i cOuLd sTiLL hEaR hiM sAyiNg, "bEtH* is tHe OnE fOr mE. i LoVe hEr. sHe's tHe oNe i WaNt tO mArrY"...
sO, dUriNg tHaT wEEk, i sPeNt mY tiMe witH jiMMy... We wEnT tO PeNgUiN iSLaNd tOgEthEr wiTh hiS fRieNds. wE wAtCh oUr sEriEs tOgEthEr aLmoSt eVeRy niGhT. wE cOOked aNd eNjOyeD oUr mEaLs tOgEthEr.
aNd nOt sUrpRiSinGLy, mY fEELinGs fOr hiM gReW aNd i fOunD mYsELf miSSinG hiM wHeReVeR hE wAs nOt aRoUnD.
aNd bY tHe eNd oF tHe wEEk, hE rEveALeD hiS fEELinGs fOr mE... aNd wAntEd mE tO GiVe hiM a ChAncE. bUt becAuSe oF hOw baDLy i hAve bEEn hUrt LaSt yEaR... i diDn'T wAnT tO jUmP iNtO aNy reLaTiOnsHiP wiThoUt tHinKinG iT tHrOuGh.
hOwEvEr, tHe pRobLeM wAs hE aLsO hAd a giRLfriEnD baCk hOmE iN MaLaYsiA.
hE tOLd mE, hE hAd bEEn tRyiNg tO eNd tHinGs wiTh hEr siNcE LaSt yEaR bUt dUe tO sOmE uNfOrtUnAte eVeNts... tHinGs diDn'T gO aCCoRdiNg tO pLaN. bUt hE aSSuReD mE... hE wiLL tRy tO eNd tHinGs wiTh hEr iMMeDiaTeLy iF i aGreeD tO GiVe hiM a ChAncE (wHicH hE did afTeR a wEEk oR sO).
mEaNwHiLe aS i wAs coNsidEriNg tHe pOssiBiLitY oF sTaRtiNg sOmeThiNg nEw wiTh jiMMy, bOb* caLLs mE uP aT tHe eNd oF tHe hOLidAys... wAntiNg tO mEEt uP aS bEtH* hAd aLrEaDy LeFt PeRtH. wHeN i tOLd hiM wHaT wAs gOiNg oN wiTh mE aNd jiMMy. bOb* wAs nOt pLeAseD wiTh mE.
aS wE mEt uP, bOb* dEmANdEd tO kNoW tHe deTaiLs oF wHaT hAs hAppEnEd aNd aDviSeD mE nOt tO rUsH iNtO aNytHinG wiTh jiMMy As hE wAs stiLL aTTaChEd aNd iT wOuLdn'T LooK gOOd oN mY iMaGe, iF tHe oThEr hOuSeMaTeS fOunD oUt... wHiLe tRyiNg tO pLaY iT cOOL, i cOuLd tELL hE wAs bOthEreD bY tHe wHoLe siTuAtiOn... bUt aS fOOLisH aS i WaS, i tHoUghT iT wAs a jUst hiS maLe eGo gEttiNg iN tHe wAy...
wHen i FiNaLLy tOLd bOb* mY deciSioN... tHaT i wAs sEriOuSLy cOnsiDeRinG bEcOmiNg JiMMy'S giRLfRiEnd... BoB jUsT wEnt BaLLisTicS aNd wAntEd nOthiNg tO dO wiTh mE. wHeN i diD nOt uNdErsTaNd wHy hE wAs rEacTinG tHaT wAy, i KePt aSkiNg hiM, "wHaT's wRonG wiTh yOu?? wHy cAN't yOu bE mY fRiEnD??"
hE fiNaLLy rEvEaLeD... hE hAd aCtUaLLy hAd fEELinGs fOr mE...
wHicH cAmE tO mE aS a HuGe sHocK!!!
tHaT wAsn'T suPPosEd tO hAppEn... wE wErE sUppOsEd tO bE fRiEnDs... wE wErEn't sUpPoSed tO hAvE fEELinGs fOr eAcH oThEr!!
a pArT oF mE WaS mAd aT bOb aS i fELt hiS fEELinGs fOr mE cOuLdn'T hAvE cOmE aT a bEttEr TiMe... oF aLL tiMe... hE hAd tO dRoP tHe bOmB oN mE wHeN i hAd fiNaLLy fOuNd sOmEoNe ELsE!!!
bUt i WaSn'T aBouT tO mAkE tHe sAmE miStaKe i mAdE LaSt yEaR aNd bOb wAsN't aBouT tO GiVe uP hiS pErFeCt, iDeaL SiNgApOreAn GiRLfRiEnD aNytiMe sOOn. sO thErE wAs nO wAY tO rEsOLvE tHe siTuAtiON aS hE cOULdn'T hAndLe BeiNg jUsT a FriEnD wiTh mE aNd sEEinG mE wiTh sOmEoNe eLSe...
sPenDinG hOuRs oN tHe pHoNe wiTh bOb, tRyiNg tO tALk hiM oUt oF hiS iNsAniTy... bUt tO nO aVaiL, i cOuLdn'T pErSuAdE hiM ouT oF hiS dEciSiOn.
i rAn tO jiMMy aNd cRieD iN hiS aRmS... aNd i tOLd hiM tHaT bOb cOuLdn'T bE mY FriEnD AnD tHaT i cOuLdn'T LosE bOb...
i cOuLdn't iMaGiNe LiFe wiThoUt bOb...
i nEEded hiM... i nEEded hiS fRiEndSHiP... i nEEded hiS eXiStEnCe iN mY LiFe.
wHo wAs gOinG tO sHaRe oUr pRiVaTe jOkEs wiTh mE fRoM nOw oN?
wHo wAs gOinG tO bE tHeRe tO tELL mE wHaT tO dO wHeN i aM bEinG tAkEn aDvAntAge oF bY mY maNiPuLaTivE, MoNeY-MiNdEd LaNdLaDy??
wHo wAs i gOiNg tO sHaRe mY sEawEEd cHiCkEn wiTh fRoM nOw oN...??
sEEiNg hOw baDLy i cRiEd... JiMMy tOLd mE tO gEt cHaNgEd aNd tHaT hE wAs gOinG tO dRiVe mE dOwN tO bOb'S pLaCe tO wOrK sOmEtHinG oUT tO sTaY fRiEnDs wiTh eACh oThEr. bEfOrE i LeFt, i pRomiseD jiMMy tHaT nOtHinG wAs gOiNg tO haPPeNeD bEtWeeN uS aNd i HaVe LosT fEeLinGs fOr bOb...
bOb wAs sUrPriSeD tHaT i CAmE tO sEE hiM aNd tOLd mE i sHouLdn'T hAvE.
aNd hE LooKeD LiKe sHiT... aNd hE diDn'T kNoW whAt hE wAs fEELinG fOr mE... hE jUsT kNeW hE cOuLdn'T LoSE mE. AnD dArE i sAy, hE DiD tEaRed a LiTTLe... wHicH cOnVinCed mE thAT hiS fEELinGs aNd cOnFeSSioNs wErE gEnUiNe.
aFtEr TaLKiNg tHiNgs ThRouGh, tRyiNg tO uNcOvEr wHaT wAs GoiNg oN hiS hEaD aNd whAt hE aCtuALLy wAntEd... wE sTiLL cOuLdn't wOrK aNytHinG oUt aNd hE maDe mE caLL jiMMy oVeR tO piCk mE uP...
aGaiN, iN tEaRs, i rAn inTo jiMMy's aRmS aNd cRiEd. eMbRaCinG mE iN hiS aRmS, hE cONsOLe Me And cOmFoRt Me bY sOOtHinG Me wiTh hiM rUnniNg hiS hANd tHrOuGh mY hAiR aNd kiSSiNg mY fOrEhEaD aNd teLLiNg Me tO cRy iT aLL oUt aNd tHaT eVeRytHiNg iS gOiNg tO bE oKaY.
aS We jUsT gOt iNtO tHe cAr, bOb sUddEnLy cALLs... aNd aSkEd Me wHeRe i wAs... aNd i tOLd hiM i waS sTiLL oUtsiDe hiS hOuSe... sEnsinG thAT hE sTiLL DiDn't wAnT tO LeT tHiNgS gO sO eAsiLy... i aSkeD hiM, "dO yOu wAnt Me tO sTaY?"... aFtEr sOmE mOMeNt oF hEsitAtiOnS... hE fiNaLLy sAiD, "yEa."
aFtEr GiViNg jiMMy a LoNg, tiGht hUg aNd cOunTLeSS oF gOOdbYe kiSSeS... i WeNt bAcK inTo tHe hOuSe aNd fACed tHe mUsiC.
bY thE eNd oF tHe niGhT, aS dAwN sOOn bEgiNs tO sEttLe iN... tHinGs tOOk a tUrN, aNd sOmeHoW i aLLoW mYseLf tO aGree tO bE wiTh bOb wiTh a cOnDitiOn... wHicH wAs tHaT i wiLL oNLy giVe hiM a MonTh tO sEttLe tHinGs wiTh bEtH*... aNd iF tHaT dOeSn'T hAppEn tHeN i'LL wALk aWaY fRoM hiM...
bUt aS i mAde tHaT dEciSiOn, a pArT oF mE jUsT hUrT sO mUcH wiTh gUiLt As i fELt LiKe i beTrAyeD jiMMy... bRoKe mY pRoMiSe aNd mOsT oF aLL, i fELt LiKe i hAvE viCtiMiZed hiM aNd mAdE hiM LooK LiKe a fOOL... i diD eVeRyThiNg tO hiM tHaT hE diD nOt DeSeRvE...
brEaKinG tHe nEwS tO hiM wAs nOt eASy... bUt hE tOOk iT wELL aS hE sAiD hE kiNdA eXpEctEd tHiS to HaPPeN aNd hE wAs aNgrY aT hiMsELf fOr aLLoWinG hiMseLf tO bRinG mE oVer tO sEE bOb aNd moST oF aLL, hE wAs nOt hAppY wiTh tHe fAcT hOw bOb jUsT cUt iN aNd sToLe mE aWaY fRoM hiM...
i tOLd hiM tO giVe uP oN mE aNd juSt mOvE oN bUt hE wOuLdn'T LiStEn AnD tELLs Me tHaT iT's hiS dEciSiOn aNd hE wiLL wAit fOr mE aNd hOpEs tHaT i wiLL giVe hiM a cHanCe tO LeT hiM gEt tO kNOw mE bEttEr.
aS tHe oNe mOnTh pRoGreSSes aLonG... dRaMaS jUsT kepT oN piLinG up iN mY LiFe...
bEiNg iN LoVe wiTh tWo mEn wAs nOt eAsY...
bUt bEiNg LoVeD bY tWo mEn wAs eVeN hArDeR tHaN oNe cAn iMaGiNe...
oNe wOuLd tHinK tHat wOuLd tHinK tHaT bEiNg LoVeD bY tWo mEn iS pRoBaBLy aLmoSt eVeRy giRL's dReaM...
i wAs oNe oF tHem... bUt nOt aNymOrE...
LoVinG tWo mEn wHo aLsO rEtUrNs aNd sHarEs tHe sAmE feELinGs aS yOu dO... cAn bE hEArtBreAkiNg aNd hEarT-wRencHinG aT tiMes... aS yOu dOn'T wiSh tO hUrT aNyoNe oF tHeiR fEELinGs...
evEryThinG yOu do wiTh oNe, yOu mUst tHinK oF tHe oThEr...
bUt nO maTTer wHaT yOu dO, yOu aRe bOunD tO hUrt oNe oF tHem.
bUt sOmEtiMeS, a GiRL's gOttA dO whAt a GiRL's gOttA dO...
iN oRdEr tO dO tHe RiGht tHinG fOr hErSeLf.
i wAs aLwAYs aFrAid aNd scArEd tHaT tHe cHoiCe i mADe tO cHoOsE tO be wiTh bOb wAs tHe wRonG chOiCe... aFrAid tHaT hE wAs tAkiNg me fOr a RiDe... aFraiD tHaT hE wAs oNLy dOinG tHis fOr tHe sAKe oF hiS mALe eGo... aFrAiD tHat hE wOuLd nevEr eNd tHinGs wiTh bEtH... aFrAiD tHaT eVeN iF hE dOeS eNd tHinGs wiTh bEtH, hE wOuLd sTiLL cHeaT oN mE oNe dAY eVentuaLLy...
aNd jiMMy... hE wAs aLwAys tHe sWeeT aNd cAriNg gUy wHo aLwAys mAde sUrE tHaT aLL mY nEEdS aNd wAntS wErE bEiNg aTTeNdeD tO. He mAdE mE LauGhEd eVeRyDaY aNd gAve mE a sEnSe oF cOmFoRt aNd sEcUriTy wHicH i wAs aFraiD bOb wAs nOt aBLe tO pRoViDe mE.
HoWevEr, tHeRe wErE tHinGs aBouT jiMMy tHaT stOppEd mE fRoM tAkiNg tHe riSk tO bE wiTh hiM... aS hOw i WaS uNaBLe tO gEt aLonG wiTh hiS fRiEnDs aS tHeY weRe aLL cHinEse-SpeAkiNg aNd i jUsT cOuLdn'T cLiCk wiTh tHem... diFFeRenT wAvELeNgtHs... diFFerEnT sEnSe oF hUmoUr... diFFeRenT iNtErEsTs... aNd fOr mE, bEinG aBLe tO cLicK wiTh yOur bOyfriEnd's fRiends aNd ViCe vErSA, iS vErY iMpoRtAnt!!
wHeN iT wAs jUsT tHe tWO oF uS, LiFe jUST sEEmS aLmOSt pErFecT aNd fUn... bUt wHeN tHeRe wErE oThEr pEoPLe iNvOLvEd... wE jUsT sEEmeD a LiTTLe biT miSmAtcHed fOr eAch oThEr.
iT cAmE tO a pOinT i CouLdn't dEciDe wHo i wANtEd tO bE wiTh... JiMMy or bOb?? bOb oR jiMMy?? iT aLL jUsT gOt tOO coNfUsiNg fOr mY hEaRt aNd mY hEaD... iT cAmE tO a PoiNt tHaT i aCtuALLy wRoTe oUt a pRo aNd cOn LiSt... bUt tHeiR stRenGtH aNd wEaKnEssEs boTh wEigHeD oUt eQuaLLy... MaKinG iT eVeN hArdEr fOr mE tO dEciDe...
bUt aS tHinGs gOt a LiL tOO hAyWiRe fOr mE... tHiNgs bEcAmE cLeAReR.
tHe niGhT i hAd a LiL tiFF wiTh bOB... i dEciDeD tO gO fOr cHiLLi mUssELs aT cOnCa'S wiTh jiMMy wiThoUt eVeN iNfOrMinG bOb. wHeN bOb fiNaLLy caLLeD mE oUt fOr sUppEr aNd oNLy tO fiNd oUt tHaT i wAs aLreAdy LeAviNg tHe hOuSe tO hAvE mY oWn sUppEr wiTh jiMMy... ALONE!!!
...hE tOtaLLy fLiPPeD!!!
GiViNg mE aN uLtiMatUm... eiTheR i dOn'T gO oR i Go... bUt tHaT's iT beTwEEn mE aNd hiM aNd i'LL bE wiTh jiMMy fOr gOOd.
aT tHaT pOinT oF tiMe, mY fEELinGs fOr jiMMy wErE sTroNgEr aNd yEs, i LoVeD hiM mOrE tHaN i LoVed bOb aS jiMMy hAS aLwAys bEEn tHerE fOr mE, nO maTTeR whAt... sTiLL LoVinG mE eVeN wHeN hE kNeW i WaS wiTh bOb... aNd i KnEw wHaT hE muSt hAve bEEn fEELinG wHeNeVer hE sEEs mE wiTh bOb... aS i hAvE bEEn tHerE beFoRE... sEEinG sOmeOnE yOu LoVed iN tHe aRmS oF aNoThEr... iS DeFiNiTeLy LiKe tAkiNg a sTaB iN tHe hEaRt wiTh a rUsTy, oLd, bLuNt kNifE... oVer aNd oVeR aGaiN...
wHeReaS bOb aN i wErE cOnsTaNtLy aT eaCh oThEr's caSeS... wiTh hiM cOnsTaNtLy bEinG suSpiCioUs oF Me aNd jiMMy tiLL iT gOt tO a pOinT i FeLt LiKe i wAS beiNg sufFocAteD bY hiS pOssEssiVenEss... wHiLe i wAs aLwAys aSkiNg hiM wHy cOuLdn'T hE juST eNd tHinGs wiTh bEtH wHeNeVer i sEE tHe oPPoRtUniTy fOr hiM tO dO sO bUt hE kEpT tAkiNg mE fOr a fOoL bY giVinG tHe wEaKeSt eXcUsEs.
sO iT jUsT sEEm tO mAkE sEnSe tO jUsT LeaVe bOb wHo sTiLL hAd yEt tO eNd tHinGs wiTh bEtH aNd wHo wAs sHoWinG sEcoNd tHouGhTs tO bE wiTh mE.
sO i DiD.
i jUsT sAiD, "oKaY, i wiLL. i wiLL sTaY wiTh jiMMy"... aNd tHeN i HuNg uP.
i tUrNeD oFF mY pHoNe... aNd jUsT LefT fOr cHiLLi mUssELs.
hOwEvEr, tHe sUppEr wAsN'T vErY eNjoYaBLe... aPaRt fRoM tHe fAct thAT thE mUssELs wAs TOo sMaLL aNd wAsN't fReSh eNouGh... iT wAs bEcAuSe oF bOb... aS hE tRieD caLLinG jiMMy tO gEt tO mE bUt i ToLd jiMMy tO jUsT sWiTcH oFF hiS pHoNe aS i DiDn'T wAnT tO dEaL wiTh bOb aT thAt mOmEnT... i wAs dReaDinG tO gO bAcK aS i kEpT cOnJuRinG mEnTaL iMaGes oF hiM wAiTinG fOr mE aT tHe dRiVewAY... LeAniNg bAcK aGainSt hiS cAr, pUffiNg awAy hiS CiGGiE wiTh thE "i'M sO gOnnA kiLL sOmeoNe" LooK... iT sEnD cOLd sHivErS dOwN mY sPiNe...
aLthOuGh wHeN i gOt hOme aNd sAw tHat tHe dRiVeWaY wAs eMpTy, iT diD nOt giVe mE a sEnSe oF rELiEf aT aLL. i cOuLd sTiLL fEeL a SeNsE oF iMpEndiNG dOOm LuRkiNg sOmEwhErE. sUrE enOugH, miNuTeS afTer i gOt iNtO mY rOOm... i cOuLd hEaR bOb's LoUd aNd nOisY tUrbO-cHargEd cAr dRiVinG iNtO mY dRiVewAy.
i wAsn'T suRe wHeThEr oR nOt, i sHouLd gO oUt or to jUsT stAY pUt iN mY rOOm. tO bE hOnEsT, i wAs vErY sCaRed aNd i wAs LiTeRaLLy tReMbLinG iN fEaR. i hAd nO iDeA whAt aN aNgrY mAn wOuLd dO... aNd i hAd nO iNtEntiOn oF fiNdinG oUt...
wALkiNg baCk aNd fOrTh fRoM mY rOOm tO jiMMy's RooM, aSkiNg jiMMy whAt shOuLd i dO aS i WaS sO aFrAiD oF bOb's tEmPeR... a suDDeN kNoCk cAMe aT mY wiNdOw... tHe
oNLy wOrDs tHaT wAs aBLe tO bE pRoCeSSeD bY mY bRaiN iN thAT sPLiT sEcOnD wErE, "oH sHiT". i CoULdn'T bELiEvE tHaT bOb hAd aCtuALLy cLiMbEd oVeR tHe wALL.
(aNd i mUsT aDmiT tHo... fOr a gUy tO cLiMb a waLL fOR LiL O' mE aNd iNjUriNg hiS biG ToE iN tHe pRoCesS... iT iS kiNdA rOmaNtiC iN a sEnse... hAhA... i KnoW, i kNoW... Let'S nOt gEt siDe-tRaCkEd aNd nOw bAck tO tHe sToRy...)
rUnniNg tO tHe siDe dOOr... aNd waLkiNg tOwArdS to tHe bAcKyaRd tO cOnFrOnT mY feAr, aPPeAreD bOb wHo jUsT sAid," cAn wE tALk? nOt hErE. oUtSiDe."
aS wE wALkeD oUt oF tHe fRoNt dOOr, i wAs sUrPriSed tO fiNd oNe oF oUr fRiEnDs fRoM tHe tALk-cOcK gAnG, aLeX LeAniNg aGaiNsT bOb's cAr, pUffiNg aWaY hiS ciGGiE... aPPaRenTLy hE wAs tHeRe tO sToP bOb fRoM dOinG aNytHinG sTuPid aNd iRRaTiOnaL tO jiMMy...
fRoM thErE, wE wALkEd tOwaRds tHe bUs sToP wHicH wAs juST oPPosiTe mY hOuSe tO hAVe oUr sEriOus tALk iN pRiVacY... STaNdiNg aT tHe bUs stOp iN tHe fReaKinG cOLd wiNtEr niGht wHeN yOu cOULd ViRtuaLLy SeE yOuRseLf pRoDuciNg cOndEnsAtiOn iN tHe aiR aS yOu eXhaLed iS nOt eXaCtLY wHeRe i wOuLd wAnT tO HaVe a PrOpEr tALk eSpeCiaLLy wHen i wAs sHivEriNg cOntiNuOuSLy dUe tO bOtH tHe cOLd wEathEr aNd aNxiEtY.
tAkiNg a dEEp bReaTH, i tOLd hiM i wANtEd tO bE wiTh jiMMy aNd i hAve MaDe uP mY miNd tO bE wiTH jiMMy...
bOb aSkeD mE tO tHinK iT tHrOuGh aNd tO GiVe hiM tHe LaSt aNd FiNaL cHanCe... pRoMiSinG hE wiLL mAKe tHinGs riGhT... aNd hE gUaRaNteeS thAt i wiLL nOt rEgrEt My dEciSiOn iF i cHoSe hiM. CoNviNciNg mE tHaT kE kNoWs hE cAn mAkE me hAppY aNd hE cAnnOt aFFoRd tO LoSe mE aS i aM nOt oNLy hiS giRLfRiEnD bUt aLsO hiS bEsT fRiEnd...
aNd hE aCtuaLLy sAid " pLeAsE, viCkY... i aM beGGinG yOu tO pLeASe GiVe uS oNe mOrE cHaNce tO wOrK tHiNgs oUt... aNd i knOw i cAn mAkE yOu hAppY"... LaTer aDDeD,"i hAvE nEvEr bEggEd aNyOnE bEfOrE iN mY LiFe."
uNaBLe tO bEAr sEEinG hiM iN tHaT sTaTe... i cHoSe tO sTicK bY hiM aS eXaMs wErE dRaWiNg nEaR aNd i diD nOt wANt tO sEE hiM fAiL aNy oF hiS uNiTs...
fOr bOb, tO LoWeR hiS pRiDe aNd eGo, tO cOmE oVeR tO mY hOuSe tO fiNd mE... sO hE cAn mAKe tHinGs riGhT betWeeN uS, eVeN aFtEr i tOLd hiM tHaT i hAve mAdE uP mY miNd tO bE wiTh jiMMy... mEaNt sOmEtHinG tO mE... bEcAuSe iT sHoWeD tHaT hE cAre... aNd hE rEaLLy dO LoVe mE...
hE eVeN wANTed tO bUy mE aN aiR tiCkEt tO fOLLoW hiM bAcK tO siNgApOrE DuRinG tHe MiD-YeaR hOLiDaYs. aNd hE eVeN wAnTed mE tO sTaY wiTh hiM sO i CaN mEEt hiS fAmiLY As wELL... aNoThEr rEaSoN wAs tO kEEp mE aWaY fRoM jiMMy dUriNg tHe hOLidAys, aS wE aLL kNoW... pReVeNtiOn iS bEttEr tHaN cUrE.
iT wAs aLL tOO oVeRwHeLmiNg aS hE eVeN bEgAn tO tALKeD aBouT oUr fUtUre tOgEthEr... wHaT wAs gOnnA hAppEn aNd eVeRyThiNg...
aLL tHiS wAs vErY uN-BoB LikE...
bUt dEEp iNsiDe mY hEaRt, i wAs stiLL iNdEciSiVe... a BiG pArt oF mE stiLL wANtEd tO bE wiTh jiMMy... aNd yEt anOthEr sMaLL bUt siGniFicAnT pArT oF mE fELt LiKe i OWed tHiS tO mYsELf tO giVe eaCh oThEr a cHaNce aS tHiS hAs aLwAYs bEEn wHaT i wAntEd... fOR bOb tO oNe dAy miRaCuLoUsLy wAkE uP aNd rEaLiSe tHaT i aM tHe oNe fOr hiM aNd fOr hiM tO bReaK Up wiTh bEtH tO bE wiTh mE...
aS a WeeK wEnT bY... iT wAs hArD fOr aLL oF uS.
jiMMy wAs sTiLLiNg wAiTinG iN hOpE.
bOb aLwAyS kNeW tHaT tHeRe wErE tiMeS mY miNd wOuLd wAnDeR oFF wHeNeVeR i HeaRD jiMMy cOmiNg hOmE fRoM wOrK oR cLaSSeS bUt hE sTiLL triEd hiS bEsT tO AccEpT iT.
aNd i hAd a hArD tiMe giViNg iT mY aLL tO bOb... aS tHeRe wErE tiMeS, mY hEaRt wAs sOmEwHeRe eLsE.
oN aNd oFF... i wOuLd dEmAnd bOb tO giVe mE sPaCe aNd tiMe tO tHinK tHinGs tHrOuGh wHeNeVeR tHinGs gET tOO cLoUdy aNd fUzzY iN mY hEaD aS i diD nOt wAnT tO mAkE a MisTaKe wiTh mY DeCiSiOn. It wAs a HugE dEciSiOn tO mAkE.
bE wiTh jiMMy. LoSe bOb fOrEvEr.
bE wiTh bOb. LoSe a PoTeNtiaLLy gOOd mAn fOr mYsELf fOrEvEr.
EiThEr wAy, iT's a DoUbLe-EdGeD sWoRd...
